Sydney, The Cross-eyed Kangaroo
By John H Thomas Jr

Well, you may think that kangaroos
Are almost all the same
But there’s one quite different
And Sydney is his name
Born in a Melbourne Zoo
Out Australia way
Sydney never learned to play
The game of kangaroo

Nature played him quite a twist
She should have been an oculist

(chorus) Oh! Sydney, Sydney
What will become of you
Sydney, Oh, Sydney
The cross-eyed kangaroo

His mother was quite beautiful
His father very strong
And no one really knows quite sure
Exactly what went wrong
Possibly genes were crossed
At the prenatal stage
But even though his eyes were beige
His pupils were forever crossed

He’s got trouble reacting
‘Cause his vision’s doubly refracting

(Chorus)

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Sydney disappeared one day
Didn’t know where he’d been
But its said he was returned
By an aborigine
The very next day while sipping gin
Syd saw two well-thrown stones
But though he ducked the first one thrown,
The second did him in

And you’ know there’s trouble
When you’re seeing double

(chorus)

Sydney made a promise on
Leaving the infirmary
That he’d never drink again
And joined the Queen’s Navy
Soon our boy was put in charge
Of naval artillery
And that is where his fame began
In Aussie history

He’s in loyal opposition
To an optician’s superstition

(Chorus)

Syd’s real big chance came along
On his naval discharge day
When an American with a mouse that talked
Brought him to the USA
Now our boy’s a celluloid star
As big as Bob or Bing
Emotin’ and a’jokin’ on the silver screen
And doing his thing

There’s always wild elation
For an animated dilatation